Because today is my birthday, I asked my mom to write about what it was like for her to become a mother on this, the anniversary of the day it happened.
33 years ago today my life changed in ways I could never have imagined. I remember walking out of my house and taking a good quick look around, because I knew when I came back home a few days later, my house, and my life would never be the same. I was about to become a mother for the first time. I was excited, but also terrified. What skills did I have to do this??? I had 2 sisters who had children, but neither of them lived anywhere nearby. To bottle feed, or breastfeed? Who knew? Would you be a girl or a boy? what color would your eyes be? Your hair? Would you be healthy? Would I know how to read your every signal that something was wrong? Would I be a good enough mom? All of these thoughts, and many more raced through my head. All I knew for sure was that you were about to enter the world, and soon, because my water had broken at home.
Your Dad was a wonderful and calming birthing partner. We had taken Lamaze classes together. He was my rock, telling me to breathe and relax when every part of me wanted to run away. The nurses were efficient, but I was still scared to death. Dr. Bourke arrived, and I was finally able to relax. He is the voice of calm and reassurance that I so desperately needed. He came and went throughout the day, each time telling me I was doing fine.
Many many many many hours later, you finally arrived. As soon as you were born,the doctor laid you on my stomach, and the first thing you did was smile. How delighted I was when you smiled and you had deep dimples, (which I still love today). The second thing you did was to pop your thumb into your mouth. I said, “Oh no!’ The doctor told me that you had most likely done it the whole time I carried you, so it wasn’t a new thing, and you probably wouldn’t stop anytime soon.
You chose to come into the world at 4:40 a.m. I find this funny now, because, like your Dad, you are not a morning person.
You have made my life incredibly richer and more wonderful because you are in it. You again changed my life last year in ways I could only imagine by making me a grandmother for the first time. I know other people who have been grandparents for quite some time who always gushed about their grandkids, and I can honestly say I didn’t quite understand what the big deal was about. Now I can fully understand. there is something so special about a new little person coming into the world that is a part of someone YOU have given birth to. I now know for sure that a part of me will continue to live on. It also helps that she looks more like me than you or your brothers ever have!!!!!
I just wanted you and the whole world to know how very special you are to me. I continually marvel at how my love for you can grow and change all the time.
May this day be as special as you are to me. I look forward to seeing you again soon. Distance may keep us apart, but my love for you never will. I love you.